Sending out the Love...

a.k.a. The Invites are in the Mail!

This was a super exciting morning.  To begin with, it's Friday (which is usually enough for me).  And, we decided yesterday that the invitations should be in the mail today!

They have actually been sitting in a box since Sunday, when I spent the majority of my day finishing them:

(personal pic)

And, while I'm not going to reveal the whole invitation (since no one could have possibly received theirs yet), I am going to share a huge DIY fail...

First, I'd like to say that over half of our invitations were done before I thought to check for this...  it was something that came to me as I was laying in bed one night, reviewing my ridiculous mental to-do list (not to be confused with my actual to-do list, safely kept in Google Documents)...

Can you see the issue here:

(personal pic)

Notice that the first line has my name and then his name?  Notice how the second line has the word husband and then the word bride?  Notice how I became the husband in this sentence and he the bride?

It's subtle.  The FI said he wouldn't have given it a second thought had I not mentioned it.  But, as a bride, as soon as I saw it, I knew those inviations could NOT go out.

So, I re-printed 80+ invitation wordings.  I re-cut 80+ pieces with the words into the correct size.  I tore apart the existing invites (taking care not to rip the paper as I went).  Then, I re-started the process of attaching the actual invitation words to the base and mat.

It was heartbreaking.  Seriously, I had been feeling so close to being done and then this happened.

Of course, looking back, it was nothing.  A couple extra hours of work compared to the total time.  Pshhhh, nothing.

But, the experience leads me to offer these words of advice to other invite DIY-ers:

• Make sure to have several sets of eyes check the invitation wording before it's final.  There is little chance that one person (especially the person who made the invitation) will be able to find all the errors.
• If you are attaching several layers of invitation together, consider using double sided adhesive instead of glue.  Why?  Well, if you realize that one piece is crooked, you will probably be able to pull it off and replace it.  And, in a worse case scenario, if you have to re-do a bunch of the invitations, you might not have to start over from scratch.
• Don't be too critical.  After hours and days of staring at the invitations, it's hard to be subjective.  Every little imperfection becomes magnified.  Remember, most people won't notice those tiny issues and no one but you really knows what they were supposed to look like anyway.

The Last Supper (as Singles)

... Also known as the reherasal dinner.

... Also known as another outstanding item on my to-do list.

Lately, we've been trying to narrow down our options for this decision.  And, to be honest, there was only one restaurant that we've ever really considered using over the last few months.  So, on Monday evening, we headed over to Emiliano's Mexican Restaurant & Bar to meet with their event coordinator.

To begin with, this restaurant is a lot of fun.  The decor is bright and cheerful (and maybe just a little over the top).  We love it:

Main Dining Area & View from Upstairs both from the Emiliano's Website

And, we've eaten there enough times to know that we enjoy a variety of the menu items.  Our meeting actually started with a question about our favorite foods there...  I had a hard time picking one but the FI answered by explaining that his family is mostly Mexican and that Emiliano's offers the most authentic food he's been able to find in Pittsburgh.  

From there, we moved onto menu options and explanations of price structures.  Since we'll be having 20-30 guests, a sit down meal with three entree options was suggested.  (They do offer buffet dinners but recommend that for parties of over 30 people.)  And, the price per guest would be based on an average of the entrees we picked.

We ended up choosing four dinner options for our guests: enchiladas suizas, fajitas (chicken or steak), molcajete cabo (a huge seafood dish) and flautas.  We felt like all our bases were covered with these options: steak, chicken, seafood, fried, not fried, etc.

Plus, we added a few orders of two appetizers, queso fundido and guacamole, that will join the chips and salsa already included with the meal.  Finally, we rounded out the meal with the adult beverage options of margaritas and Coronas.

Perfect.

And, it is all well within our "budget" amount for a "rehearsal" dinner (turns out we probably won't even have a traditional rehearsal, but more on that later).

After we wrapped up our meeting, we got a table and had dinner.  We each ordered an item from our selected rehearsal dinner options that we hadn't tried before, just to make sure.  I had the enchiladas and he ordered the molcajete cabo; both were delicious.  Plus, the margaritas were amazing.

Overall, this whole process was painless.  I'm so happy with our decision and think this restaurant will provide the casual, fun environment we're hoping for to enjoy this special time with our families.

Did you have a favorite restaurant in mind for your rehearsal dinner early on?  Or, did you have to do a lot of homework to find the right place?

How Do I Love Thee?

... and other difficult to answer questions.

A week ago, I received an email from our officiant with three attached documents.

1. Marriage License Instructions - This one is pretty self-explanatory but super useful.  For example, I didn't realize that the county only takes cash as payment for the application.  Also, we have about two weeks left before we can go through the process, since the license is only good for 60 days.

2. Wedding Information Form - This is the form that contains all the details about the wedding, stuff we definitely didn't know when we first signed our contract.  Time of the ceremony, contact numbers for important people and other details.

There are also some more complex topics like "any thoughts or ideas you have for inclusions in the ceremony" and "anything you feel may be important in the preparation of the personalized ceremony".

These are areas that we are a bit unsure about...  We have some ideas of a reading or two but haven't quite gotten around to asking the person we're thinking might do it.  We know some of the things that we don't want (religious related passages, etc.) but haven't figured out what should fill the time.

We're hoping that we'll be able to work together to figure this all out over the next two months.

3. Couples Ceremony Questionaire - This is where it gets extra tough.  This document is 18 questions of deep, personal and generally head scratching stuff.  Don't get me wrong, there are some straight forward ones included like "How did the poposal happen?" and "What tone would you like for the ceremony?".

But, the rest, my goodness...  Plus, we are supposed to fill these out individually.  No cheating allowed!

Some of the questions are things that I have a hard time putting into words: "What do you love about your spouse-to-be?".  Well, I love all sorts of things, like the fact that we have created a pretend pet together (a French Bulldog named Rupert, in case you were curious) and that we laugh all the time.  But, is that the stuff of great ceremonies?  I have no clue.

Or "Was there a pivotal moment in your relationship where you knew you were in love or that this relationship was something special?"  Well, maybe when I realized I was willing to be with someone who played video games on a regular basis (a long standing deal breaker for me... although it's hard to remember why now).  Or, was there actually a moment at some point when I looked at him and thought "I'm going to marry him!"?  If so, how can I not remember when or how it happened?  If not, should there have been?

Just trying to come up with something for these have left me thinking that people who write their own vows are crazy...  I can't even imagine the stress related to doing that!

Luckily, we'll have several opportunities to revise the ceremony once we see a first draft.  So, if our answers create something less than spectactular, we might still be able to get it together before the big day.

Did you offiant involve you and your partner in the ceremony creation process?  Or, did you write your own vows?  Did you find it difficult to explain your emotions about your partner to anyone (or to them if you wrote a note for the wedding day)?

The Shoes...

...with a capital T and a capital S!

Or, I think I've finally found my shoes for the big day!

There are few things that have seriously stressed me out through this wedding planning process.  Invitations were one.  Shoes were definitely another.

I have struggled with this decision for months.

I had a pair of shoes made:

Personal Pic

I found a pair of shoes at Ross:

Personal Pic

I bought an online deal for a 'design your own shoes' website:

My Wedding Shoe Design via Milk & Honey

And, then, I finally ordered this beautiful pair online:

Laina by Miz Mooz via endless.com

They are everything I've been looking for in a shoe - bright color, comfortable, a thick enough heel that I won't sink into the grass and an open toe.  And, as a bonus, they sort of have a Mexican feel to them.  They almost look like the papel picado that's running throughout our wedding.

Now, I can't promise that I won't be buying any more "wedding day" shoes, but I think the pressure I've been putting on myself over this decision is finally diminishing.  Plus, my wedding dress should be arriving any day (the manufacturer shipping it about two weeks ago) and I needed to make this decision final so the alterations can be started.  Eek!

Plus, the bonus?  I still have that credit for Milk & Honey.  Now I can make myself a fun pair of shoes with no wedding related restrictions...  The possibilities are almost overwhelming (and absolutely wonderful).

How many pairs of shoes did you add to your closet before finding 'the ones'?

Stealing Culture

One thing I hadn't planned on feeling while planning our wedding was jealousy...  Ok, maybe a bit of jealously over some fabulous DIY or decorations seen on the web would be normal.  Or, a tiny tinge upon seeing some waif-ish bride wearing the same dress I'll be wearing and looking PERFECT! (Seriously, I saw pictures of at least three weddings with my dress in the last month, one of which was at our venue!)

But, being jealous of my FI and his family because they have more culture?  Is that weird?

I don't really think about my ethnic background very often.  My family is mostly German on both sides, with a little bit of Scottish thrown in on my dad's.  But, we don't actually celebrate our heritage in our daily lives or even on holidays or special occasions.

We do have some traditions around the holidays, but most of them are religious or just odd family-based things (like having baked beans at our Christmas dinner).  There is nothing I can claim as a cultural or ethnic based activity...  And, none of this ever really made me feel any kind of negative emotion until very recently.

When we started planning our wedding, I knew I wanted to incorporate some aspects that celebrated the FI's ethnicity.  Most of his family is very involved with activities and festivals that keep their Mexican roots alive day to day.

Three of his nieces dance with a traditional Mexican Folk Dancing group and perform around Detroit at parades and festivals.  It is so much fun to see them, with the bright outfits and twirling, like this:

from dc.about.com 

(from a search, not anyone in the FI's family, that I'm aware of anyway)

Most of his family can speak Spanish - and his grandmother once asked me if I was planning to learn.  There are traditional Mexican foods served year round, not just on holidays or special occasions.  And, the FMIL still lives in the part of Detroit called Mexicantown, where many of the people share the same heritage.

It's so completely different than my own family and our lack of heritage awareness.

At first, as I picked out items for our wedding, I didn't really think about slipperly slope I was on.  I saw one of our "themes" as vintage with a mexicana twist...  Loteria cards for escort cards and maybe a bit of papel picado for decoration at the reception.  That's all it was.

Then, time went by, and my wedding started to look more and more like inspiration boards with names like "fiesta wedding" or "cinco de mayo wedding":

From Chartreuse Love

Papel picado - yep.  Mexican wedding cookies - probably.  Fans - got em a few weeks back.  There are loteria cards for sure.  Mexican birds/hearts on the invites cut out to look like aforementioned papel picado - absolutely.  Jarritos sodas - planning on it.  Mexican food - at the rehearsal dinner.  Crepe paper flowers - the FI's family is making a bunch for our wedding arch.

It sort of exploded.  And, I'm really pleased with the way things are coming together.  I think it will be beautiful.

But, my original plan was for the wedding to reflect us as a couple and I'm beginning to feel like my part in things is slipping a bit...  Will anyone see me in the details?

I don't want to change anything (and, with only eleven weeks to go, I doubt that I'd have the time to re-do it all anyway) but I have been feeling a bit down about not having much culture to contribute.

Will your wedding reflect your's and your significant other's heritages?  Or, like me, are you coming from a life with few ties to your roots?  How will you balance the details to reflect both of you?

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle (like a bride)

There are very few wedding related ideas that have lasted from the beginning of the planning process till now...  The overall vision of our wedding has changed, a lot, since the engagement.  But, there are some things I haven't been able to shake (from my mind or my to-do list).

One of my absolute favorites is the use of old windows somewhere in the wedding.

They could be used as a menu, listing out yummy choices with vintage flair:

Menu Window from Rustic Wedding Chic

Or, perhaps to present the program of events for guests...  A little more cost effective and environmentally friendly than printing 100+ paper programs, which will inevitably end up in the trash.

Program Window from Timeless Southern Home

Finally, they could be used for any other miscellaneous messages we'd like to share with our guests.  The idea of letting guests sit wherever they want during the ceremony is one of my favorites (probably because our lack of wedding party will leave us without ushers):

Take a Seat Window from Weddingbee

So, with these visions dancing in my head and a Google offer grasped in my hand, I begged casually asked the FI to make a trip with me on Sunday.  Where in the city of Pittsburgh might a bride be able to make a vintage window vision become reality, you ask...

Enter Construction Junction...  (sounds of harps and light shining through clouds)

From Pittsburgh Skyline

Their website bills the store as "Pittsburgh's only non-profit building material reuse retailer".  A bit of a mouthful that ends up meaning a place where you can find donated materials from torn down buildings, items left over at the end of a building/DIY project or who knows what else.

Usually, this is not the type of place you can go with a plan...  It's more of a browse and see what you can find that interests you.  But, this time, I knew I could find what I needed: old windows.

And, find them we did...  We ended up with two windows: one two paned ($2) and one six paned ($6)...  You pay by the pane!  We also bought a long, skinny cupboard door ($2), that should make for another nice sign somewhere, maybe with chalkboard paint.

Plus, we ended up with a few unexpected surprises.  The FI scored a couple pieces of pegboard ($3 ea) for the garage.  

And, the piece de resistance?  Three red locker doors ($15 ea)!  That's right, not lockers that can be used for storage, just the doors with their frames still attached.  Full size, my height or taller, metal locker doors!  Can you tell how excited I am about these?  Why?  Well, we're planning on stripping them down, re-painting them and hanging them as art (eventually... as in when we move into an awesome new house someday after the wedding).  We even talked about putting messages or additional art behind them since the doors still open.  So COOL!

Anyway, I'm not sure how many cities have a place like Construction Junction.  If yours does, I'd highly suggest checking it out.  You never know what great finds you might be able to score for your wedding or otherwise.

Did you find yourself shopping at any unusual places for wedding supplies or decorations?  Do you get ridiculously excited over old, dirty hunks of metal, too?  (Or, is that just me again?)

Getting Older = Free Stuff

I'm going to take a brief break from wedding related topics to talk about one of my (and, I think, most other people's) favorite things: free stuff.

Seriously, coupons, deals and free stuff tickle me.

Once a year, I really bask in the glory of email deals... birthday deals that is.

By just signing up for companies' email lists (I realize its a pain to get that much junk e-mail, but that's what having multiple e-mail accounts is for) I got a ton of free or nearly free coupons.  Some of these may only be useful for people in Pittsburgh or the general region, but I wanted to share...

Baskin Robbins - Free scoop of ice cream

BD's Mongolian BBQ - A free stir fry

Big Burrito - This is one of my favorites and has been for years.  They mail a card worth up to $30 on a dinner, good at any of their restaurants (except Umi) on any day for two weeks (except Saturdays).  (This year, we're going to Casbah for the first time.  So excited!)

Bruegger's Bagels - A free bagel w/ cream cheese if you buy a beverage

Chili's - A free brownie sundae

Cold Stone Creamery - A free creation with purchase of a creation

Dairy Queen - A free mini, small or medium blizzard with purchase of a medium blizzard

Moe's - A free order of queso

Melting Pot - Chocolate covered strawberries when two entrees and a cheese fondue are ordered

Qdoba - One free entree with purchase of another entree

Rita's - A free regular ice

I'm sure there are ones I'm missing, but you get the idea.  So, the lesson is, if you really like a restaurant and you like free stuff, see if they have a mailing list you can sign up for.  Maybe you'll get a nice surprise for your birthday!

Are there any birthday related promotions that have really impressed you?  Are you crazy for coupons/deals/free stuff?  Or, is it just me?

Planning Not to Plan

As the wedding looms closer, it seems to be taking over our lives...  well, mine anyway.

If I meet up with someone for lunch, the first question out of their mouth is "how are the plans going?"  Following that, I face an internal struggle where I want to 1. not dominate the conversation with something so self-centered as my wedding and 2. explode with details that the FI is way past pretending to caring about.

Most of my spare time is spent with another kind of internal struggle, the kind where I debate relaxing and watching TV vs. working on invitations or researching rehearsal dinner locations or reading wedding blogs.

With all the emphasis on the wedding, its easy to lose sight of nurturing the relationship that led to the wedding.

Like this past Friday, some friends of a friend were DJ-ing at a coffeehouse in the South Side.  And, when I initially heard about it, I really didn't want to go.  But, the FI wanted to check it out.

So, after a yummy dinner at Pi, we headed to the Beehive.  We grabbed a couple espresso laced drinks and sat down to catch up with our friend.  Eventually, another couple of his friends showed up and we all started chatting.

We ended up staying a few hours, even longer than the FI originally planned on.  I was just having so much fun talking with people who we didn't know, who had very little interest in our wedding plans, who I could just listen to and talk with about regular people stuff.

It's amazing how refreshing it was to be focused on something so unrelated to the wedding for awhile...  Now I'm trying to be more willing to push myself to relax a bit and enjoy the stuff going on around us.  Like, when the FI brought up the idea of going to see Second City, who's going to be in town the weekend before our wedding, I did hem and haw a bit.  I thought about how many wedding projects might be left at that point.  But then, I thought about taking a few hours to laugh with the man I plan to spend the rest of my life laughing with.  And, I said yes, get the tickets.

Did you try to make time to do non-wedding related things with your partner close to the big day?  How did you make sure you didn't lose focus of the meaning behind the big day?