... and other difficult to answer questions.
A week ago, I received an email from our officiant with three attached documents.
1. Marriage License Instructions - This one is pretty self-explanatory but super useful. For example, I didn't realize that the county only takes cash as payment for the application. Also, we have about two weeks left before we can go through the process, since the license is only good for 60 days.
2. Wedding Information Form - This is the form that contains all the details about the wedding, stuff we definitely didn't know when we first signed our contract. Time of the ceremony, contact numbers for important people and other details.
There are also some more complex topics like "any thoughts or ideas you have for inclusions in the ceremony" and "anything you feel may be important in the preparation of the personalized ceremony".
These are areas that we are a bit unsure about... We have some ideas of a reading or two but haven't quite gotten around to asking the person we're thinking might do it. We know some of the things that we don't want (religious related passages, etc.) but haven't figured out what should fill the time.
We're hoping that we'll be able to work together to figure this all out over the next two months.
3. Couples Ceremony Questionaire - This is where it gets extra tough. This document is 18 questions of deep, personal and generally head scratching stuff. Don't get me wrong, there are some straight forward ones included like "How did the poposal happen?" and "What tone would you like for the ceremony?".
But, the rest, my goodness... Plus, we are supposed to fill these out individually. No cheating allowed!
Some of the questions are things that I have a hard time putting into words: "What do you love about your spouse-to-be?". Well, I love all sorts of things, like the fact that we have created a pretend pet together (a French Bulldog named Rupert, in case you were curious) and that we laugh all the time. But, is that the stuff of great ceremonies? I have no clue.
Or "Was there a pivotal moment in your relationship where you knew you were in love or that this relationship was something special?" Well, maybe when I realized I was willing to be with someone who played video games on a regular basis (a long standing deal breaker for me... although it's hard to remember why now). Or, was there actually a moment at some point when I looked at him and thought "I'm going to marry him!"? If so, how can I not remember when or how it happened? If not, should there have been?
Just trying to come up with something for these have left me thinking that people who write their own vows are crazy... I can't even imagine the stress related to doing that!
Luckily, we'll have several opportunities to revise the ceremony once we see a first draft. So, if our answers create something less than spectactular, we might still be able to get it together before the big day.
Did you offiant involve you and your partner in the ceremony creation process? Or, did you write your own vows? Did you find it difficult to explain your emotions about your partner to anyone (or to them if you wrote a note for the wedding day)?
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