Flower Inspiration

Since it's snowing and blustery outside (to the point where the FI's car door was frozen shut this morning... grrr), I think I may finally be ready to hunker down and work on some flower experiments this weekend.

I've already started trying to copy some of my favorites but don't feel any closer to deciding on what should 1. decorate the tables or 2. be included in my bouquet and the corsages/bouts.

So far, I've made kusudama flowers:

My first attempt w/ origami flowers, based on the instructions at Folding Trees

They are relatively easy but super time consuming.  I think I timed myself at about a minute per petal, and that's just the folding, not the gluing together portion (or the cutting of paper into the right sized square when you've bought something way too large).  Factor in the five to six petals per flower and we're talking about a LOT of time.

I had fallen in love with these after seeing some fun and colorful examples of bouquets on etsy.  But after making a few and realizing that the overall feel of our wedding was changing, I don't think these will be featured.  The only exception is that I might try to include them in a corsage for my mom because she ooooh-ed and aaaah-ed over them dramatically when she first saw them.  (Not sure if that was a mom being a mom or if she was really that impressed.)

Next, I moved onto coffee filter peonies.  My inspiration and instruction came from this:

From Brown Paper Packages

I love how simple these are.  Beautiful, classic and surprisingly realistic.  They are definitely still in the running and I've been testing out colored versions (dyed with food coloring).  I'm still not 100% sure because they involve a lot of floral tape, something I HATE using, but we'll see.

Finally, I ran across this picture recently:

From The Demoiselle

See that beauty in the lower right corner?  I decided that I absolutely had to figure out how to make it.  Then, after a lot of searching around, I realized that I was going to be on my own.  I couldn't find any tutorials or anything even close out there...  But, it looks simple enough, right?  Ha, ha.

I did make an attempt last weekend, after an excruciating trip to Jo-Ann Fabric (seriously, it took me FOREVER to find the sequins...  maybe because I've never, ever bought a sequin before?).

Next up, my learnings about DIY-ing without internet support and a tutorial on how to make (a reasonable facsimile of) the beaded sequin flower above.

Working Together

Planning a wedding is stressful.

Yes, it's exciting and fun and a once (hopefully) in a lifetime opportunity.

But, man, is it stressful.

One thing that adds to the stress is the working as a team aspect.  While I like to think of myself as a "team player", I know that I've been on my own, independent, for a lot of years.  (I used to joke with my friends that when I got married, I might let my husband live with me.)  Adjusting my way of thinking to include the opinions of someone else, someone whose opinions I'm going to have to listen to for the rest of my life, is really, really difficult.

There have been many occasions already where my FI has said "why do you ask for my opinion if you really don't want to hear it?".  He's right.  The last thing I want to hear when I'm excited about something is that it's tacky or not logical or some other variation of "NO".  I want him to smile and agree with me on whatever new discovery is the greatest since sliced bread.

This morning, WeddingChannel.com was running a discount deal for WedIt.  (If you want a videographer but don't think you can afford it and are willing to think outside the typical vendor box, definitely check them out: http://www.wedit.com/.)

As soon as I saw it, I wanted it.

Who hasn't been seduced by the beautiful trailers other brides post?  The fun/sentimental/wacky music flowing over the gorgeous wedding scenes?  Yes, please!

I emailed the FI and called the company to check on availability (our date was good to go).  Then, I felt a quick, painful deflation in my joy bubble as I read his email response: "I really don't like the idea, I just think the quality of the video will not be very good and we will have to inconvenience 5 guests."

What?!?

I'm not sure why I expected otherwise; they were logical concerns (some of which I had already had).  Of course, I instantly fired back with a few comments on how I thought some people (i.e. younger guests with the tendency to become bored easily) might find it kind of fun and how he should watch some of the sample videos.

Then, I took a few breaths and wrote a second email.  I wrote that he was probably thinking that I shouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know (again).  I also explained why I was so excited about the idea and how I had been hoping for some sort of video even though a videographer was definitely not in the budget.  Finally, I apologized and said "I love you".

He responded with a couple more concerns but left it at the typical end point these days: if you really want it, get it.

I bought the deal and did an internal happy dance.

So, did I acted properly in this situation?  Probably not.  But, I am trying to realize when I demonstrate this behavior and trying to do a better job of communicating why things are important to me.  I'm also trying to listen to concerns and have more grown-up responses than "but, I really want it".

It's going to be a long path, getting to a more cooperative state.  But, we still have 7.5 months before the wedding to work on it :)

My First Bridal Show

I feel like there should be a doll associated with this occasion...

From amazon.com

... but it would be scarier than that somehow.

Neither the FI nor myself are big on crowds.  We tend to avoid super busy restaurants and I love doing my grocery shopping late at night.  So, the idea of going to a bridal show, which advertises that it averages about 800 guests, was a little off-putting.  Would it be like this?

A job fair in China - from chinasmack.com

Originally, my mom was going to join me on Sunday afternoon, as I checked out the vendors at the semi-annual bridalevents.com show in Cranberry Township.  She ended up having a last minute conference call for work.  So, I had a few variations of the following conversation with the FI:

Me: I would really like it if you joined me at the bridal show but I understand if you don't want to go.
Him: ...  silence  ...
Me: Ok.  Well, let me know if you think you might want to go.
Him: ...  silence  ...

Eventually, about forty minutes before I planned on leaving, I said "you should probably get dressed now if we're going to go".  Awhile later, and we were both in his car, headed to the bridal show.  (Have I mentioned that I have the best fiance ever?)

We arrived right around 2:30, the scheduled time for the bridal fashion show.  This ended up being the happiest of coincidences.  We walked in to find something like this:

from a bridal show survival guide

Most of the visitors were politely seated, watching the bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, ballroom dancers, etc.  Meanwhile, we had completely open paths to every vendor booth.  We didn't have to wait to talk to anyone.  It was great!

There were not a ton of vendors I had planned on talking to since most of my vendor decisions have already been made.  We did stop for a couple of the tuxedo stores so that the FI could get some info.  I also spent some time looking at different bouquets and flower arrangements and talked with a few unexpected people...

I didn't realize that we could register online for Pampered Chef and earn "hostess" rewards for everything that guests purchased off our list (brilliant!).

Plus, I talked with a woman from Gifted Hands, a local gift shop, whose booth included a beautiful manzanita wish tree display.  Bonus, she gave me a $5 gift card - I can't wait to check out the store.

About an hour and a half later, all of the door prizes had been given out (we didn't win anything) and we headed back home.

I think that the bridal show would have been super useful (and probably way more overwhelming) before I had hired my vendors but it was interesting to see the displays and ideas.  I can see how the shows are a great way to network and I'm actually thinking about going to another one or two at some point (there's another nearby later this month) so that I can try to make up my mind about florist/no florist.

Either way, it was a lot of fun and I'm glad I finally got to attend a bridal show.

The Venue that Almost Wasn't - Succop Conservancy

After realizing how much of a financial crimp a wedding might put into our future, we prepared to tour a venue about forty minutes outside of the city.  My mom drove to our townhouse early on a Saturday morning and the three of us headed North to Butler.  We arrived for our 9:30 a.m. meeting and were already starting to sweat.  It was ridiculously hot for early September.  So, we wiped our brows and got ready to see what this non-city venue had to offer.

Meet The Succop Conservancy* (all pictures are from Succop's facebook page unless otherwise noted) :

The Conservancy's 1830's farmhouse

Succop Conservancy is a nature reserve owned by the Audubon Society.  It's fifty acres include walking trails, two ponds, the farmhouse, an herb garden and tons of amazingly beautiful picture spots.

We met with Nancy, who first showed us through the house.  We saw the upstairs areas, were we could get ready for the wedding, and the downstairs rooms where guests would enjoy a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception.  It was all gorgeous, simple and vintage decor at it's best.

Then, we took a walk outside, to see some of the possible ceremony locations.

In front of the house is a popular choice.  Seats can face the house or towards a wooden arch supplied by the venue. (Pic from Krystal Healy Photography)

Facing the big red barn would be a fun alternative.

In the herb garden, facing one of the ponds, is another option.

Then, we headed to the event shelter, where the reception would take place.  It was simple, with round tables, wooden beams and white string lights everywhere.  This space could be used as is, with all the beautiful landscape as decor, or could be dressed up with color and additional lighting.

From Red Lotus Photography.  (with some serious up-lighting)

On our way back inside to discuss more details about renting the venue, we walked through the amazing kitchen and had a quick conversation with Pete from Medure's Catering (the exclusive catering company).  He was there, getting ready for that day's wedding, but was warm and relaxed while he took some time to answer our questions.

Finally, we sat down, looked through some photo albums and got an information packet with prices and some vendor options.  We found out that there would be no rental fee for the spaces, the costs are all included in the catering packages and on a per person basis (with a 100 person minimum).  We could put a temporary hold on two dates of our choosing, to get dibs, or put down a deposit to make it official.

As we drove home, my mom raved about the whole place.  She loved it.  The FI did not seem as impressed.  I later learned that he had some major concerns about an outdoor ceremony and reception.  Also, he was still pining over the Heinz History Center.  In the end, he left the final decision up to me.

Pros:
- Gorgeous, unique venue with lots of space
- Private place where there would be no other events at the same time
- We could buy our own alcohol ($$$ savings)
- All inclusive pricing package that included food, service, tables/linens/etc. and was way less expensive than all of the other venues
- Medure's Catering has amazing reviews online and Pete was extremely friendly
- Fun options like a fire pit for s'mores
- Plenty of space for games like cornhole or croquet
- No worries about where guests would park
- Extremely easy to find with only one turn off of Rt. 8

Cons:
- Farther out of the city than we'd hoped.  Visits for planning, etc. would consume a lot more time
- Hotels are not as convenient
- Far away from the airport (all of the FI's family will be from out of town, but many will drive in from Detroit)
- Outdoor ceremony and reception is a risk
- Exclusive caterer (not Big Catering)

A lot more time thinking through the options (and maybe a spreadsheet analysis or two) led me to call Nancy to see which 2012 Saturdays were still available.  I found out that October 27th had two holds on it and September 1st had one.  That was it.  Eek.

Ok - October 27th please...  A Day of the Dead  themed wedding got the FI a bit more interested and I could imagine the beautiful fall colors the landscape would provide.  A day or so later and I found out that one of the couples with a hold decided to take the date.

Only one chance left, September 1st.  What were the chances that we'd get it?

Well, we did.  September 1st, 2012 at the Succop Conservancy.  Our wedding finally had some direction; everything else could start happening...  It was less than a year away and it was time to get planning!

* It is pronounced "suck-up", we checked (several times).

The Venue Search Intermission

a.k.a. I wish I had one of these:

From The History of Money

After touring three potential venues and realizing that our original budget of $15K was a pipe dream, we had to take a step back and think about things.

So, to set the scene for the budget decisions that needed to be made, here are some facts to keep in mind:

- I am very comfortable financially at this point in my life.  I make a good bit of money.  I have no debt.  I have savings that would cover the entire cost of the wedding, even if it ended up being more expensive than I originally planned.  So, unless I double the costs, I could probably pay for it myself and take on zero debt.  (I think this might be one of the greatest positives I've seen in waiting till now to get married and I'm very thankful to be in this position.)

- The FI is pretty well set financially as well.  His savings account is a bit lighter because, over the last two years, he has bought a townhouse, a new (to him) car and one very shiny engagement ring.

- After the wedding, we hope to buy a house.  The townhouse can't be sold until December (the wedding is in September) because of the three year rule associated with the tax credit from buying it.  This means that we will need to have a good bit of money available for a down payment very soon after the wedding.

- I was not assuming that we would have any help from family.  My mother and father (divorced) have both mentioned, at different times, saving some money for my wedding.  But, I was very hesitant to ask for help (always been an independent type) and didn't want to make assumptions.

After a lot of thinking and talking and more searching for possible venues, we arrived at a decision.  We would tour one more venue, outside of the city, that was likely to be less expensive.  After that, we would either pick the new option or call up the Heinz History Center for available dates.

Even though it was going to be super expensive, we both loved the History Center.  The expense would be very high and would probably push back the new house at least a year but a wedding only happens once, right?  Even if it wiped out all of my savings, it would be worth it for the wedding that really reflected us, right?

Hmmm...

Since it was included in the Venues That Weren't, you know that the History Center wasn't the end choice... Up next, the Venue that Almost Wasn't.

Hold up! Wait a minute!

I was all set to come home and write a little bit about how my first three venue tours led to a serious bit of thinking about budgets, discussions with the fiance about what was really important for our wedding and a major change in the direction of the entire plan...

Then, I got home and found something in my mailbox.

(I tore into the envelope before I even thought to get out my camera...  So exciting!)

Engagement pictures!!!

First thing I noticed was the adorable packaging.  The note attached to the case said the following:
"The DVD case in your hands has been hand made using recycled Floppy Discs and love letters from the World War II era.  We hope you enjoy the old school packaging as well as the modern technology inside."

Adorable.

Then, I popped the CD into my laptop and reveled in the glory of beautiful pictures (quality of the pics, not necessarily the goofy couple included)...

We started at 21st Street Coffee, in the Strip District...  Where the barista made a heart in the milk foam.

Then, we headed across the street for some posing in front of the warehouses on Smallman Street.

Then a bit further down the street for some time with the iconic Acme Banana Co. (Maybe not iconic generally speaking, but I see a ton of this in e-shoots...  Can't always be the first.)

Notice the quick costume change?  Actually, it took forever and involved me dropping a large earring into a very disgusting sink drain, fishing said earring out with my finger and trying feverishly to wash it off enough not to feel like I'd get bacterial meningitis when I put it in my ear.

Close up of the boots I bought in Detroit over Thanksgiving.

Random parking lot shot.  That's normal, right?

And, lastly, train tracks, a kiss and a popped foot.  Now, that's iconic.

I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a bunch of cringing as I paged through the pics.  But, overall I was so pleased with the results.  I definitely have enough for facebook sharing, save the dates, our wedding website and mini moo's (if I go that route).

I realized that I like the pictures where I was more comfortable (read, in jeans) a bit better.  But, I'm really glad that we have a few dressier pics.  

I also realized that I need to get in gear with the fitness/diet aspects of my wedding prep because I do not want to have to build an entire wedding album based solely on those pics that don't show my many chins (actually, it's more like a single, frog type chin, but I digress)...  That is a topic for another time.

For now, I'd just like to give major props to Rodger Obley Photography and thank them for all the great pictures above.  I know they are going to do an amazing job shooting our wedding and I'm so happy that we hired them.

Now, back to regularly scheduled programming...

Venues that Weren't - Heinz History Center

When I showed the FI pictures of the events spaces at the Heinz History Center, it was the first time I'd heard him sound truly excited about our wedding.  The main space we'd probably want was the Great Hall, which has an industrial feel, with brick walls and dark steel beams.  It's a beautiful, interesting space that wouldn't need a lot of decoration.

Seats could be set up in the Great Hall for the ceremony, while the table, chairs, etc. get hidden behind large drapes.

Heinz History Center

Following the ceremony, guests would be taken upstairs to the Campbell Gallery for cocktails.  This space is similar to the Great Hall: lots of bricks and simple, industrial chic-ness.  Imagine this filled with guests, passed hors d'oeuvres, cocktails and lots of candlelight:

Heinz History Center

Cocktails would last for about an hour.  Meanwhile, the Great Hall would undergo a transformation and end up something like this:

From Christina Montemurro Photography

Amazing!

We toured the Center one evening after work and both fell even more in love with it.  The whole place felt like us: simple, kind of quirky and geeky (in a chic way).

Instantly, the other venues fell off the list.  This was, by far, the best.

Pros:
- We both loved the spaces.  It felt like us
- The rental fees for the faculty were reasonable
- There is a huge parking lot across the street
- There is a hotel across the street, super convenient for our out of town guests
- We would have help from the Events team, who really seemed to know their stuff.  We received so many helpful hints and ideas just during our short visit
- The Strip District is one of the most interesting parts of the city and there would be plenty of stuff for out of towners to check out
- The menu from the exclusive caterers, Common Plea, was impressive.  There were tons of yummy sounding items and pages and pages of options

Cons:
- The exclusive caterer's (who is not Big Catering) food and alcohol were way more expensive than we planned for - probably somewhere to the tune of $10k more than the venues we'd already seen

That was the only negative we could come up with.  Seriously.  We wanted it so bad.

Next up, a reality check and redefining the search boundaries.