Wednesday, January 18, 2012

... Kind of Different

That is the phrase I find myself quietly mumbling to anyone who asks about one of the traditional aspects of a wedding that we decided not to have.

How many in your bridal party?  None...
What are your colors?  We don't really have set colors...
What flowers are you having?  I don't know if I really want any real flowers at the wedding...

It's going to be...  kind of different.

I didn't realize the impact of some of my decisions until over the weekend.  I was at my mom's house, catching up on life and, of course, the wedding plans.  The subject turned to the cake.  I pulled up an example of an ombre buttercream cake I love (not sure about the color, but I love the idea).

ombre-wedding-cake.gif
from brides.com

She did NOT like it.  She asked about all the fancy tiers, columns and frosting flowers from the picture she obviously had in her head.  And followed up with a "how will people know it's wedding cake?".  Ok, people will know it's a wedding cake because they will be at a wedding.  But, the rest of the expectations?  I didn't foresee such an emotional reaction from my mom... about cake.

Similarly, she was upset that there would be no prayers at any time during the day.  (That one I expected.)  But, that was a decision that required a lot of debate between myself and the FI.  It was already made and I have no intentions of opening up that can of worms again.

The way I have viewed wedding planning is that there really are no rules anymore.  We can do whatever we want.  No one will care.

Apparently, that is the wrong attitude.  Apparently, our families have some ideas of what they want to see at our wedding.  Who knew?

So, my mom ended our conversation with a sentiment close to this "you can break these things to me...  just do it one at a time and let me have some time to recover before the next one."  But, how in the world am I going to know which decisions I've made go against her imaginary "my daughter's wedding" pictures?

I guess the moral of the story is that I should tread a little more lightly and not assume that everyone is on board with our less than traditional tastes.

Were you surprised by family and friends' reactions to your wedding plans?  Do you find yourself less traditional than you thought you'd be?

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